Yes Boys, Julia Fox Used To Be A Dominatrix And She’s Married To A White Guy

It’s no surprise that all of us here at The Story Is Not The Story love Uncut Gems. We’ve made it very clear here and here.

The film is an adrenaline-pumping, stylistic, violent, surprising next step in the evolution of the Safdie Brothers and if the Gods of the Oscars see fit to smile down upon the film, they’ll give Adam Sandler that nomination he so richly deserved back when he starred in Punchdrunk Love.

But that’s not the story.

The story is that most people yammering on about Uncut Gems and its awards potential these days actually aren’t lobbying for Adam Sandler to get nominated for his performance. No. Instead, they believe that the Oscar should go to…wait for it

Julia Fox’s Ass

Now, I’m not sure if most people on Twitter and Instagram are aware, but there are no current awards shows (no, not even MTV) who allow voters to nominate a woman’s buttocks for an award. No, not even the Indie Spirit Awards. Or the Gothams. Or the Snapchat Online Movie Minute.

Yes, I know she was once a dominatrix in high school.

There are also no awards given for being a dominatrix. Now, had Julia Fox played a dominatrix in an adult video, she could potentially been nominated for that performance in the AVN Awards.

But she didn’t. And she wasn’t.

There’s a contingent on social media this past week who, despite her not being able to be nominated for her ass, or her previous profession as a dominatrix, who also have been hanging their heads down in despair because in addition to not being nominated for her butt and her time as a dominatrix, she is also…taken.

Yes, boys. Julia Fox is married. She even posted a picture to prove that she loves her husband. Desperately. Without pause. With all her heart.

Oh, and he’s white. Which is fine by me, but there’s also a contingent of the social media landscape who are up in arms about this as well. How could Julia Fox, the owner of the ass that should be nominated for an Oscar or other related body-part award, who surprisingly never had sex while performing as a dominatrix, also be married to a white guy, especially with such a hot backside? Shouldn’t such hot backsides only be available to a certain percentage of the testosterone-fueled public?

No. No they shouldn’t.

This is all to say that everyone is getting a little bit too worked up over Julia Fox. She is beautiful, yes. She has certain assets that (we guess) should be garnered notoriety in the certain specific circles that garner notoriety for such things. But can we not just focus on the one thing that we should be focusing on?

Namely her performance in Uncut Gems?

Had Julia Fox not had the award-worthy backside and had never been a dominatrix and was not married, would anyone be talking about anything but her performance? Had Julia Fox looked like Julia Sweeney, would anyone be obsessively scanning her Instagram profile for pictures? Can we not all find the time to evolve ourselves and our thinking and view a hot woman’s performance as…just a stellar performance?

With all this talk about my previously aforementioned topic A, topic B and topic C — has anyone actually covered topic D which is that this is Julia Fox’s first acting role ever?

Her first acting role ever. In Uncut Gems.

That’s the story, people. That’s what we should be focused on. That’s what people should be talking about.

Can we try to do that, instead?

Please?

One Comment

Leave a Reply