Bremner Bogarts Bad Boys, Nabs National Treasure From The Wibberleys

Does Chris Bremner have something against The Wibberleys?

In order to even know what the above sentence means, and in what section of the World such a statement has any significance, one simply must turn to the world of high-profile, high-priced, big blockbuster entertainment. That’s the World where the screenwriter versions of Zan and Jayna (a.k.a. the Wonder Twins), The Wibberleys (Cormac & Marianne), wrote the story for Bad Boys II as well as the screenplays for National Treasure and National Treasure 2: Book of Secrets and then Writer/Producer Chris Bremner jumped right into both franchises and somehow got the powers-that-be to let him cut right in line.

That’s right. Chris Bremner not only picked up where the Wibberleys left off with Marcus and Mike and crafted the screenplay for Bad Boys For Life, but he was also just announced as the official pick to write the third movie in the successful National Treasure franchise as well.

So the real question is: what the hell does Bremner have against the Wibberleys? And how did this all come to pass?

It’s a question as infamous as the one from National Treasure 2: Book of Secrets… What’s on page 47. Except in this scenario, the question is…how does someone whose first produced writing credit is Bad Boys for Life and then lands the third in a trilogy of another franchise? What kind of voodoo is this? Are we missing out on a key piece of information from the past, where The Wibberleys and Bremner ran into each other at Hollywood’s Magic Castle one night, and a particularly worrisome bet was made. If Bremner could pick two cards out of a 52 card deck with a blindfold on, and the card he pulled out was the one that both of the Wibberleys had thought of in their head without uttering it or writing it down anywhere…then every property that The Wibberleys became writers on, that was even moderately successful; Bremner would get the job to write the next iteration of those properties when the time came.

Or perhaps Bremner was driving home one night and noticed that a car had crashed through one of those barriers up on Mulholland Drive, and when he got out of the car he noticed that two people were trapped in the front cabin of the SUV and couldn’t get out or else risk the entire SUV falling into a ravine and killing them both immediately. Only if Bremner could attach his pull cable from his pickup truck and back up into the center of Mulholland Drive would he be able to save the two of them. It was in that one moment that Bremner knew who he was saving; two people whose careers were the things of childhood dreams. Bremner wanted that life. He needed that life. He told The Wibberleys that he would save their lives but they must recommend him as the “third sequel screenwriter” for any big budget properties they worked on, but in public must never say anything about the arrangement.

Of course, the most realistic scenario is this: Bremner made a deal with the Devil to give up his soul once he left his earthly body behind, as long as he could get to write big budget studio action adventure comedies. The Devil, of course, had also made the same deal with The Wibberleys, but years prior. And since the Devil is all powerful but isn’t all powerful when it comes to giving away writing assignments in Hollywood for a very limited few slots in the blockbuster line of business, he had to arrange a deal between Bremner and The Wibberleys. He would only take their souls for half of eternity, in return for each party agreeing to share in the writing assignments across the Bad Boys, National Treasure and Shaggy Dog franchises.

Because how could it be anything other than those three scenarios? How could something so strange like Bremner following up The Wibberleys on two different franchises make any real logical sense whatsoever? Especially since The Wibberleys did such a bang up job on National Treasure and National Treasure 2: Book of Secrets? In what normal, logical world would any studio (including Disney) offer up the final installment of the only film that Nic Cage seemingly acts normal in, to another writer? For God’s sake, The Wibberley’s know what’s on Page 47. Bremner doesn’t.

Let me restate that: Bremner doesn’t know what’s on Page 47.

As a Nic Cage fan primarily due to The Wibberleys, I hereby ask Bremner (or the Devil); whomever is responsible…to step down from this horrible scenario. No one will benefit from this situation. Absolutely no one. The Wibberleys must be allowed to finish a trilogy that deserves the kind of ending they originally planned on. That they already know, deep down in their brains, and which is ready to go.

Unless of course, Chris Bremner saved their lives off Mulholland Boulevard and this was an agreement the three of them made.

But if they didn’t?

Bremner, you need to step off.

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