It’s National Weatherpersons Day.
That’s right. It’s a day when we are supposed to celebrate the people who hold the job where they take a print out from the National Weather Service about what the weather is going to be that day, in their respective geographical area, then repeat the same data on television in front of a blue or green screen where CGI clouds and weather patterns spread and animate across the great United States.
It doesn’t require much skill, if you ask me.
It makes me think about other jobs where the person doing the job is simply responsible for repeating information that some other group of people or technology makes available to them and which they treat as the gospel. These jobs range from the guy on the Lottery interstitial who waits for wooden balls to roll out of a plastic orb and read them number-for-number out to the TV audience. Or the E-meter technicians at the Church of Scientology who watch the little needles jump and lurch back and forth and tells you exactly what that less-than-legitimate information means. It’s the kind of job that’s the equivalent of a politician with no original thoughts of his own simply reading words off a teleprompter that someone else has denoted that he read with passion, confidence and an almost unquestioning authority.
It’s about as ridiculous as typing in the numbers 4, 8, 15, 16, 23 and 42 every time a computer beeps down in the hatch from Lost just because some unknown force alluded to the fact that if one didn’t type in those numbers, something horrible would happen.
Or in the case of meteorologists, who we are ludicrously celebrating today with National Weatherpersons Day, if they don’t repeat the data coming through the National Weather Service each and every day, in the way that they are told they must present it, with the cold fronts and the weather patterns and the single-digit-drops in temperature…they too could be on the other side of a terrible happening. They too, would be (god forbid) considered a black sheep in the National Weatherperson’s Unified Organization and find themselves without the easiest job on the face of the Earth.
But that’s not the real story. The real story is the only question any sane person should ask on such a day as today:
Why in the Hell is anyone celebrating National Weatherpersons Day?
Why do Weatherpeople get their own day? For what reason do we need to celebrate them? To my earlier point, if we’re celebrating the work that Weatherpeople do, then we might as well be celebrating Desmond David Hume Day for all the mindless work he did down there in that hatch on Lost. Yes, that fictitious character did more for America than any of the weather people doing their job on a daily basis.
No, there is no logical reason Weatherpeople get their own day. And along with them, here are a list of other “National Days” in February that also shouldn’t be getting their own days. They include:
National Dark Chocolate Day
National Eat Ice Cream for Breakfast Day
National Get Up Day
National Hedgehog Day
National Tater Tot Day
National Ukulele Day
National Carrot Cake Day
National Shower with a Friend Day
World Nutella Day
National Frozen Yogurt Day
National Bubble Gum Day
National Fettuccine Alfredo Day
National Wear Red Day
National Kite-Flying Day
National Toothache Day
National Umbrella Day
National Clean Out Your Computer Day
National Plum Pudding Day
National Tortellini Day
National Radio Day
Tug of War Day
National Muffin Day
National Margarita Day
National Walking the Dog Day
National Chili Day
So, I lied. The real official story here…is if you’re a weatherperson, whose job is already questionable, do you really want the people behind the National Whatever Day intiaitive giving you a day that celebrates your Lost-esque career alongside chili, margaritas, muffins and toothaches?
The country is falling apart at the seams, people.